Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
