As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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