Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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