I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
