as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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