hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize