Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
