he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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