mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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