So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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