so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
