I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
