i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
