she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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