the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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