Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize