I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
