belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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