There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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