Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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