bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
