everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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