Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
