I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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