in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
