you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
