As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Come on in and take your pants off
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