how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
