what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
