god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
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I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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