I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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