She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
