their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
