it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
