I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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