You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
