Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
