I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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