can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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