absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
