She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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