Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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