I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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