Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
