The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
