His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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