...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize