So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand