Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.