I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits