Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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