I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My pussy is not your playground.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
