she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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