He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
