Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
