I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
