Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
