I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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