i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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