All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
