therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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