I just saw a hot homeless man
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize