Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
