I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will be naked everywhere
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
