Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
